10.01.2006

Trout's Picks of Contrariety (Week 3) (for Week 4)

Last week I posted my first ever winning week. Let the winning ways continue...
I'm feeling good about football this week because I actually get to watch the Colts hand it to the Jets. Holla!

Buffalo (-1) over Minnesota
I have a confession to make. I know very little about either of these teams. Actually, I have a bigger confession to make. I know very little about any NFL teams. But that won't stop me from proclaiming that Buffalo will win this game by more than one point. Minnesota wears purple. Despite the whole "Purple People Eaters" thing, purple is not an intimidating color. The Bills, on the other hand, are Red, White, and Blue, like true Americans. That, and they have the rich heritage of Orenthal James Simpson to draw upon. That, and they should've beat New England, and I like Willis McGahee because he played out of his mind for my Madden fantasy-drafted team before the stupid memory card corrupted the file. Thanks, Playstation 2.

Washington (+3) over Jacksonville
Normally, I would be with Gage on this one. But Mark Brunell obviously took personal offense to my comments last week. Moral to the story: Mark Brunell plays well when I speak poorly of him. Hence I engage in some reverse psychology: Mark Brunell will get sacked several times, look lost, and, in general, really old. You hear me, Mark Brunell? You're OLD. You will be eaten alive by this defense.

Detroit (+5.5) over St. Louis
This is the week where Detroit's Roy Williams goes off. I say this only because my fantasy team needs someone to do something this week in the wake of the Shaun Alexander debacle of '06. Detroit will still lose, if for no other reason than Matt Millen is still around. I predict they only lose by 3, though. Also, don't forget that Jon Kitna is apparently a "game manager," as Gage pointed out some weeks ago. As a side note, what the hell is the Rams problem? You've got Bulger, Holt, Bruce, and Steven Jackson. I know lots of these guys are getting old, but shouldn't they still be good for at least 20 points a game? I guess not, since they haven't scored 20 yet.

Seattle (+3) over Chicago
Seattle is GETTING 3 points in this game? Are you kidding me? Why do people obsess over the Bears? I don't really get it. Shaun Alexander or no, Seattle is the defending NFC champs. And Rex Grossman does not a contender make. I think people forget that Seattle (although they're not the Bears) has a good defense too. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that I think this will be low scoring and could go either way. It's worth betting against Gage in this one just to bet against him. With apologies to Philly, maybe this one's a preview of the NFC championship game.

Kansas City (-7) over San Francisco
This is the game where Larry Johnson remembers that he is indeed, Larry Johnson, and should be playing more like it. Oh wait, I forgot Herm Edwards is the coach. Oops. Sorry, KC. In reality, I think San Fran wins this game (partially because, again, I need Frank Gore to score TDs and not fumble in fantasyland). Sometimes it's too bad I'm locked into disagreeing with Gage.