9.10.2006

Gage's picks of confidence

I've never been a sports gambler. I've never had any problem with it, just hardly seemed worth the anxiety. Until now. My good buddy Jon has been betting games for years and he has systems evaluating his systems. Today he challenged me to see who really knows their football, so for every week of the season I will be picking five NFL games against Jon's five games. I will actually be betting these games. Eat that, posers.

Philly (-5.5) over Houston
Just to spite Jon I've come up with a little system of my own. Basically, I'm taking any team that has the edge at two of the following three: QB, RB and Defense. This one lit up like three bars on a slot machine. Obviously I shouldn't buy into all the idiots telling me how McNabb is going to make some huge comeback, but I am. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that Mario Williams will have less than 5 sacks in this game.

Seattle (-6) over Detroit
Look, fuck jinxes. I don't buy that shit. That said, if I'm Shaun Alexander I'm switching from laces to velcro. Just don't need any aded risk of trippage. Seriously though, I like Seattle big. Jon Kitna has small hands (but a big love for Jesus!). Does Detroit still field a defense?

New Orleans (+3) over Cleveland
Brees vs. ???, McCallister/Bush vs. ???, that's all I need to know for my system. Screw research. Unless Willie McGinnest can run, throw and catch the ball it should be a long day for the Brown turds on the lake.

Jacksonville (PICK) over Dallas
Seriously, can we start a "Fred Taylor's Hammy" hotline? Think of the fantasy sports and gambling ramifications. If I see the ESPN bottom line come up with a "Fred Taylor: Doubtful" at 12:30 pm Sunday I think I should really get my money back on this one. It's only fair. Oh yeah, and I have Matt Jones in two fantasy leagues, so he needs to step up. Ready, Gage on three..... "onetwothree GAGE!"

NY Giants (+3) over Indy
Put me in with the group that thinks this whole RB situation is going to hurt the Colts quite a bit. Don't they LIVE off that play action? The Giants get the edge in RB and defense. Giants win, Eli looks confused.

Jon's Picks:
Cincinnati (+1.5) over KC
Chicago (-3.5) over GB
Philly (-5.5) over Houston
Indy (-3) over NY Giants
Minnesota (+4.5) over Washington