9.16.2006

Gage's Picks of Confidence (Week 2)

Let's get this out of the way: Jon kicked my ass last week. Somehow this guy managed to go 5/5 on his week one picks. Plus, I understand he hit some big three team parlay to have a nice little weekend of gambling. I, on the other hand, went 3/5. However, I would like to point out that if the Colts had been able to convert a third and three up two points and run out the clock, we would have both gone 4/5. Instead they got stopped and kicked the field goal to just barely cover. Dicks.

Despite a winning record, this week I'm throwing out the system and going with my gut. Why? Because I'm not a man who settles for mediocrity. I'm not a smart man either.

Atlanta (-5.5) over Tampa Bay
I'm calling this "do believe the hype" Sunday. I'm jumping on everybody's bandwagon. Atlanta looked great last weekend and is at home for this one. Gruden considers benching Chris Simms for Major Applewhite. What happened to the Bucs? I never figured out why they were good (besides the incomperable Trent Dilfer, of course) but now why were they so bad last week? I think the O-Line is weak and John Abraham could have a large day. Falcons roll at home, even if Vick pulls a Vick.

New Orleans (+2.5) over Green Bay
Look, Green Bay is awful. They have been legitamately shitty since last year. At least they went out and got Charles Woodson. That's what your team needs, a defensive back. Reggie Bush seems like a nice guy, but if I'm him this year is dubbed "making the Texans look like complete idiots" season. And, if the Saints are smart they'll give him the ball as long as he wants it. My man crush on Drew Brees endures.

Jacksonville (+2.5) over Pittsburgh
The Jags seemed to get some confidence last week. They have serious potential to be my "team that I ride every week until they let me down" this year. I think one of my weaknesses in picking games is that I have certain players that just strike me the right way and fool me into thinking they are better than they really are. I'm pretty sure Byron Leftwitch has worked his voodoo magic on me. Even with that knowledge I'm betting this game.

Detroit (+9) over Chicago
Sigh...this week I couldn't actually find five games I felt strongly about. Last week we learned that Detroit's defense isn't complete garbage. This sems like the kind of game where the Bears defense outscores the offense. I picked against Jon Kitna last week and he screwed me. Never understimate his ability to inspire announcers to use the phrase "game manager." My point being, I just don't think either team scores a lot of points in this game so +9 seems really high.

Baltimore (-12) over Oakland
I'm tempted to just pick against Oakland the entire season. Talk about a train wreck, and that's just Aaron Brooks. Baltimore is another team where I'm buying the hype. That said, if Steve McNair gets out on the field with a walker, I want my money back. This whole team seems really old, but I think Oakland rolls over. Joey Porter is amused.

Jon's Picks:
"After a 5-0 Week 1 My selections for week 2 are as follows:"

New England (-6) over NYJ
Washington (+6.5) over Dallas
Minnesota (Pick) over Carolina
Detroit (+9) over Chicago
Cincy (-10.5) over Cleveland

3 comments:

trout said...

I guess Joey Porter may be amused by the Raiders losing, just because he's crazy. But I think you meant Jerry "Get Me The Fuck Off This Sinking Ship" Porter. Whatever.

Also, Major Applewhite is a cool name. Cool in that I picture a man named Major Applewhite drinking mint juleps while lifting weights, getting his cock sucked, and judging a wet t-shirt contest simultaneously. The ambiguity comes in when you wonder whether dudes or ladies are doing the sucking and wet t-shirting.

Gage said...

Jerry, Joey, same shit. I ain't changing it.

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