Chuck Klosterman Forms Lots of Opinions

I ran across an article that Chuck Klosterman wrote for Esquire this month (or next month or two months from now. I have no idea what February 2007 implies). He runs down certain athletes turned sportscasters and tries to decide which profession they are better at. It's a fun read, although I would advise you that Klosterman makes a living out of choosing a ridiculous side in an otherwise non-existent argument and sticking to it like Will Leitch on Andre Rison. That said he does make some generally good arguments. I agree that John McEnroe is by far the best tennis announcer alive and Theismann is a disaster, but I do take exception to his comments about Tim McCarver:
Though he finished second in the voting for the 1967 National League MVP, McCarver was a journeyman best remembered for being Steve Carlton's personal catcher during much of the 1970s. As a broadcaster, he is a stubborn polymath with an uncanny propensity for predicting when broken-bat singles are about to occur. McCarver is regularly criticized for saying what already seems abundantly obvious, but then again, a lot of people who watch baseball on TV are fucking idiots. Better as a broadcaster.
He Certainly got one thing right, McCarver does a good job of saying shit that everybody watching already knows. I can't think of an announcer who so completely takes me out of the context of watching a game than McCarver. My local guys (George Grande and Chris Welsch) are no A-team, but they don't make me groan out loud like McCarver does. Maybe I'm just at the end of my rope with Joe Buck (all the pretentiousness of Bob Costas, but now with none of the reverence for the game!) that by the time McCarver opens his mouth, but he certainly does nothing to ease my pain. MVP runner-up trumps any broadcast that could possibly include the quote "Well, David Eckstein, like most of us, has 20 digits. Ten fingers. Ten toes."

(Side note: who knew Steve Kerr's dad was killed by Islamic Jihadists? Wow.)


trout said...

I love that Klosterman ends his piece with this gem:

It seems impossible, but it's true: Sean Salisbury was better as a player. Which is just about the craziest sentence I've ever written.

Gold, pure gold. I'm with you on Tim McCarver unquestionably being a better player. There's nowhere to go but up from his broadcasting, really. As an aside--McCarver's only 65 years old? What the fuck happened to him. He must have dropped a lot of acid while he was carrying Carlton's jock strap, because his mind's way too addled to be only 65.

I am disappointed, however, that Klosterman glossed over Joe Morgan's shittiness in the booth. Yeah, the fact that he was an incredible player makes a comparison ridiculous, but seriously... Joe Morgan is goddamned awful. Give him another 5 years and he's right there with McCarver.

Notorious B.O.B. said...

So ESPN 1000 (chicago sports talk radio) has given Sean Salisbury and some other douchebag a radio show here in Chicago. Luckily its on while Im at work but I hear commercials for it on the way home and immediately get angry. What a putz. Almost as bad as former Reds great Joe Morgan.

And as for Klosterman taking a ridiculous side to an argument and sticking to it, that reminds me of someone I knew in college. Wait, its coming to me, it was roommate of mine from Kentucky. Oh shit...I can't remember his name.

YouTellEmKellen said...

When I worked out in the chicago burbs I would sometimes be unfortunate enough to catch Salisbury's show on my drive. For some reason I just couldn't switch to anything else (ok, my antenna is broken and I only receive on AM channel), it was pretty much torture.

Gage said...

He has a whole show? Jesus Christ.

Notorious B.O.B. said...

Yes, I believe its 3 hours of pure hell from 9am-noon. The best part is, he has a Chicago sports show and he just keeps picking against the Bears every week. So basically what few listeners he had, now hate him for bashing the Bears. Way to know your audience Seany.