Becks, Bonds, and Dodger Dogs

Well, there's obviously been an absolute dearth of posting on FTG the past couple weeks (I'm sure you've all noticed, right?). Gage has been out of the country and brokenhearted about the Ben-gals. I'd be brokenhearted too if my team had cheerleaders that were so... um... manly (see the picture to the left). Yours truly has been finishing up term papers, but I thought I'd take a break and do a quick post to hit upon a few things that've caught my eye the past couple days.

First off, Barry Bonds is a piece of shit. Yeah, no news there, but seriously... what the fuck? At least Mark McGwire seems like he could genuinely be a nice guy who got caught up in the whole steroids mess against his better judgment (I'm not going to get into the Hall of Fame debate--I'm just going to say that if he gets in, Pete Rose deserves in too. And I'm kind of beginning to think they both deserve to be there, no matter how much I detest both of them). Barry Bonds is simply a fuckjob. I curse ESPN for fawning over this sham of a home run chase.

First, Bonds essentially accused his teammate Mark Sweeney of doing amphetamines (Bonds tested positive for the drug and claimed he unknowingly took a supplement from Sweeney's locker--as an aside, what the hell is with all this purported swapping of locker stuff? Is Bonds wearing Jason Schmidt's jock too? These guys make millions a year. Get your own goddamned "vitamins.") Next, Bonds kindly retracts his accusations against Sweeney but unkindly neither denies he accused Sweeney in the first place nor apologizes for doing so. Dickwad. Enjoy your new clubhouse, Barry Zito. Don't forget to blame your weed problem on Omar Vizquel.

Second, I find it hard to care about soccer or the fact that David Beckham is assraping (see picture at left) MLS to the tune of $250 million. Brand me a stereotypical American, I don't care. I like playing soccer and I like playing golf, but I don't particularly enjoy watching either one. OK, so I realize getting a player of Beckham's magnitude is nothing but good for MLS, a soccer league in its infancy struggling to attract talent. But $1 million per week? Seriously? I don't care where the money's coming from, I find it hard to see how any athlete is worth that much (see: Rodriguez, Alex. And his $250 million contract was over 10 years, not 5. And for a player just entering his prime, not leaving it). I find it highly intriguing that the $250 million is coming from "endorsements" and "bonuses based on performance and the future success of the MLS." Is the money contingent on Adidas giving Becks a huge contract? McDonald's? Does Becks have to play 70 minutes a game? Does MLS have to sell 30% more tickets this year? Despite my soccer apathy, this is all very interesting to me.

Last but not least, God bless them, the LA Dodgers have made 3,000 seats "all you can eat" for next season. Of course, you're stuck eating all the low-cost ballpark food (nachos, hot dogs, and the like)--ice cream, BEER, and candy are excluded--but my money's on paparazzi photos of Becks and Posh, armloads of Dodger Dogs in hand, before the summer is out.