12.05.2006

Hawk luvs that Duck. He does.

Hawk Harrelson's on the ballot for the Hall of Fame. What a fucked up world this is... unless, of course, the Hall of Fame is all about enshrining broadcasters not so much for their excellence but their entertainment value.

Now, Hawk seems to be nearly universally reviled in the blog world and amongst people who know anything about baseball, even inspiring a HeavetheHawk website in the spirit of various and sundry other fire-this-coach-we-hate websites. But I'll tell you what, as a blogger, as someone who knows a little about baseball, and as a White Sox fan, I love me some Hawk Harrelson. Almost as much Hawk loves that goddamned Aflac trivia duck (I'm still perplexed as to why that is, but I'll let it slide).

People rag on Hawk for being a homer announcer (he almost has an aneurysm twice a season for what he perceives to be bullshit umpiring against the Sox, and I'd guess he falls completely silent, fuming for an entire inning about 80-odd times a year when the Sox are playing like shit). He gets shit for using stock phrases ("You can put it on the board!" "He gone!" "Chopper Two Hopper" "Duck snort" ... fill in the blank). People hate him telling inane stories ("I remember a time when I was in Baltimore and I came out for my third at-bat, but couldn't concentrate because I had a giant erection and Brooks Robinson was licking his lips"). People accuse him of just generally being a dumbass (see the Aflac duck). And let me tell you, Hawk is most certainly all of these things.

But let me ask you this: would you rather have Joe Buck, Tim McCarver, or Hawk Harrelson calling your team's games? If I've got to hear someone call 162 games a year, I actually want to hear a homer using the same catchphrases and recounting the same inane stories. Perhaps that makes me a fucking dumbass, but I think there's something refreshingly familiar and endearing about it. I'm probably just a sucker for Hawk because he's been the voice of the Sox ever since I've followed them, though.

Regardless, you have to respect a man that invented the batting glove, puts up with Darrin Jackson, and, most importantly, hates Jay "hiney bird" Mariotti to the very core of his being, no?

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I have to admit that I did like Hawk and Wimpy. Paciorek seemed to have a way to even out Hawk.

Now we're just getting ridden hard and put away wet.

trout said...

Yeah, I should have mentioned that the Golden Age was Hawk and Wimpy... they even had the ability to make my mom get into watching Sox games. DJ is just a train wreck.

Gage said...

Hawk and Trout sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G...

Anonymous said...

Hawk's stories are the best part of the broadcast. DJ could tell a story about the time he hit 42 homers in a week, or that he had a threeway with Elle MacPherson and Heidi Klum while they were all mainlining distilled mushrooms and absinthe, and Hawk would top him by the end of the half-inning.

Anonymous said...

Yeah Hawk and Wimpy were great until Wimpy decided to take on the Catholic church b/c he was raped by a priest. Now Wimpy isnt as funny. Poor Wimpy.

Anonymous said...

The excuse that people don't like Hawk because he is "homer" drive me nuts. People constantly list Harry Caray as a great announcer, and he was a bigger homer than Hawk will ever be.