7 Things trout Learned After One Day of Baseball

1. Mark Buehrle has the power to severely fuck over anyone who crosses him. You want to break his streak of five straight Opening Day starts? Fine. Go ahead. But you'll embarrass yourself to the tune of 7 earned runs in one inning.

2. This may be the year for promising pitchers to finally realize their promise. Tittle500 had to be please to see his boy Ben Sheets, who's threatened to be a fantasy star since 2001 but only turned in one dominating season (2004), pitch lights out. Similarly, King Felix, who was disappointing last year, is on pace for roughly 350 strikeouts this year. Just hand the Mariners the Divisional title already, and crown me King of the Prognosticators.

3. Gil Meche is better than Curt Schilling. This means that Mr. Meche deserves about a $2.5 million raise. Pay up, Royals.

4. Baltimore and Tampa Bay continue to find ways to lose. It's gonna be a heated battle for the cellar this year.

5. Adam Dunn is "country strong." Whatever that means. Carlos Zambrano may be simultaneously underrated and overrated. Whatever that means.

6. My disdain for Joe Morgan has softened. Am I going soft in my old age?

7. I'd rather watch the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim play the Texas Rangers than the Ohio State Buckeyes play the Florida Gators.

1 comment:

Gage said...

Adam Dunn is easily "state strong" or possibly even "tri-state area strong"