6.13.2007

Todd Helton's Playing for Boston in His Mind

... or maybe he's desperately campaigning to play for the Carmines (here's lookin' at you Hawk Harrelson), like that girl at the bar who's trying just a little too hard. How do I know this, you ask? Well, luckily I've been blessed for a keen eye to fashion cues and what they mean for the game on the field.

Tuning into the Red Sox-Rockies game last night (does watching every single game make me a Red Sox fan? I can't decide), the first thing I wondered was where, oh where has the fresh faced Todd Helton of 2006 gone?


He's been replaced with a Todd Helton sporting an ass-ugly goatee, suspiciously like that of...

Kevin Youkilis, the guy he probably would've kicked off of first base had the Helton for Lowell/Tavarez/prospects trade gone through.


No prayer of that happening with Lowell and Youkilis both knocking the cover off the ball, and poor Todd is left to play for good ol' mediocre Colorado, mourning--or living vicariously--through his facial hair.

P.S. Joe Crede had back surgery yesterday and may never play another game in a Sox uniform (although that's probably overstating it--he should be ready to go by 2008, and his trade value is pretty questionable until he proves he can produce post-surgery). Sad. How quickly our heroes (read: man-crushes) fall.

In other news, Ozzie thinks the White Sox losing is like having blue balls night after night. How, I'm not exactly sure--perhaps because we know they have the potential, it just isn't happening? Anyway, from the Sun-Times: "As far as the latest loss by the Sox (27-33), Guillen compared it to kissing a girlfriend each night, hoping it finally is time to go further, before she once again announces it's time to leave." I wish I knew what the actual quote was instead of that bland paraphrase... so it goes.

P.P.S. Apropos of nothing, but this picture is too great not to post:

9 comments:

Gage said...

Manny be crazy.

Tittle500 said...

http://www.drewbrees.com/


I like the use of the slanted picture on the front page of this website...

He's trying really hard to show you just how happy he and his wife really are...

trout said...

Did you notice the "Drew Dat" t-shirts? To that I say, "WTF, Drew?"

Those "Breesy in the Big Easy" shirts ain't bad, though. Three words for that one: Father's Day Gift.

Notorious B.O.B. said...

Remember when Brees beat Michigan AND Ohio State in the same year with great comeback and then we went to the Rose Bowl? Man, that was awesome!

When are they coming out with the DVD for that?

trout said...

I remember Dan and I leaving that Michigan game at halftime because it looked like Purdue was gonna get killed. Then we listened to the rest of it on the radio like a couple of idiots.

Notorious B.O.B. said...

Well, you still got to see the Ohio State game which was a more memorable one anyways. Night games always seem more intense for college football.

Gage said...

I like how they use "Up Coming" all over the site instead of "Upcoming." What does it mean to be up coming? Sounds dirty.

Notorious B.O.B. said...

I'll let you borrow one of my pornos and I think "up coming" will make alot more sense.

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