Gage's Picks of Wasting My Time (Week 11)

Lookout world! Another 2-3 week means I am still completely useless, but at least the apocalypse isn't upon us. So that's nice. The bad news, as always is that I will provide you no help in your gambling ventures. Yet, for some reason I trudge on.
The Bengals play at New Orleans today, and after I wrote my post declaring them all but dead, I'm having a hard time getting too fired up. If they're not dead already, this game could officially kill their spirit, so I guess we'll see what they're made of. I didn't hear any proclimations by Ocho Cinco declaring himself a "pass catching hurricane" which is encouraging, but we will see. Worst case scenario: my mancrush (now one word!) wins the game. Anyway, onto the picks....

Baltimore (-3.5) over Atlanta
Why does Baltimore keep winning? I have no idea, but they do. And if you don't think their defense can rattle Michael Vick you're crazy. Vick can look great against a paper-thin defense like Cincy, but as soon as he starts rolling out and gets dropped by Ray Lewis one time, he'll start chucking balls into double coverage. Maybe this will be the game you see him doing the old QB slide.

St. Louis (+6.5) over Carolina
This one comes down to past performance for me. The Panthers barely beat a Dallas team that everybody wants to like, but really has shown no evidence of being any good. The Lou has Stephen Jackson who has officially proven himself and should run all over him. On a side note, how about the RB tandem in the state of Missouri? Jackson & Johnson: For All Your Insurance Needs should be keeping those show me staters happy for a long time.

Arizona (-2) over Detroit
This one follow's what I'm going to start referring to as "Gage's Law". Two shitty teams, playing, take the home team. I have nothing more to say about this one.

Indianapolis (+1) over Dallas
Two simple points here. First, do you remember when I said that I'm taking Indy plus points until they prove any reason why not? That was against Denver on the road, and Denver is a FAR better team than Dallas. Um, yeah. And second, I said earlier that I just don't believe in Dallas. The media and pundits want them to be a superbowl team, but they're just not. Parcells' cock must taste like candy the way everybody is bobbing on it. Trust me, you don't want to be in line for that.

San Diego (+2.5) over Denver
I'm biased. Last week's game convinced me that San Diego is in the class of the AFC. This should be a great game, but I just think they have too many weapons and can overcome the Denver defense. The Sunday night national telivision could wipe out any home field advantage. I'll be looking forward to this one.

Last Week: 2-3
Season: 24-24-2
(Thank goodness for paying juice so I can't forget than even at .500 I'm still a loser)