Freddy to go Under Knife, Just Wants a Little Weed for Anaesthetic

Not much to say here besides Pat Gillick and his scouts are apparently pretty dumb. Anybody with two eyes and half a brain could see Freddy Garcia wasn't right last year, and now it looks like he'll have to have surgery on a messed up labrum. Here's what it all means, broken down all math-equation-y style:

Freddy Garcia '07 = Shoulder Gate '00 + plausible deniability

Obviously, Kenny has learned from past mistakes. Suspicion a guy you soon want to trade is injured? Simple, just don't have your docs take a look at him and then pray to God some stupid ass GM takes him off your hands for you. To top it all off, this time we got a player in Gio Gonzalez who is likely to contribute a little more to the club than David Wells ever did. In case you've forgotten, fatty, Chicago still hates you and your underperforming, Frank Thomas-hating shenanigans.

Adam Dunn's Last Name Can Be Substituted For The Word "Done" To Create Hilarious Headlines

The secret is out, maybe. Adam Dunn is supposedly on the trading block and nobody is denying it. What's this mean? Well, the 50-homer-potential player who makes over $10 million per year could be heading out of the 'Nati to greener pastures. If you haven't read the details, Dunner isn't technically in the final year of his contract, but his club option for next year would be voided by a trade. That's a club option that the Reds would most certainly take advantage of, but would really sting them in their most sensitive area, the pocketbook. Getting rid of that salary could be a real coup for club, seeing as how they finally get rid of Eric Milton's contract ($10 million this year) after this season; meaning they'd have somewhere in the ballpark of $20 million to play with. That's an obscene amount of money for a team whose biggest free agent signing last winter was Alex Gonzalez (again, not the really shitty one, just the mediocre one).

Should the Reds trade Dunn? Well, a poll on Cincinnati.com shows the fans are pretty divided, but I think it's time. Just like Sean Casey did, Dunn has played just well enough for just long enough to be out of the Reds price range. It's time to get decent value for him and set yourself up for a push in the off season. All of this begs the question: where would he go? It's got to be a contendor and a team looking for some power that can put up with the strikeouts.

LA Dodgers - The team that really looks like they should win the NL West appears to be having trouble scoring runs. The Dodgers rank 12th in the NL in runs scored in June and are next to last in HR this season (only 39 in 64 games). It could happen because the Dodgers clearly are a "big market" team and could afford the salary hit. Unfortunately they've already got Luis Gonzalez in LF, so that could be awkward. (While we're here, please enjoy this awkward Nomar/Mia Hamm picture)

Detroit - I could see an Adam Dunn for Craig Monroe & prospects type of deal (assuming Detroit wanted to get rid of Monroe's almost $5m salary). Then, he and Sheffield could take turns booting balls in LF.

Minnesota - This one certainly makes sense, and I feel like the notion of a Twins pitching prospect can only be a good thing (see: Santana, Liriano), but it's really hard to see the financials working out. Twins management is too savvy, despite their glaring hole in left field.

Anaheim - The Angels have shown no lack of financial resources in the past few years. Plus, they could certainly use a DH with some pop. Interestingly, the Angels are coming to the 'Nati tonight for a three game set. If, by some chance, Dunn gets hot and bangs two or three big homers in this series, we could find ourselves with a motivated buyer.

NY Mets - Moises Alou is 40, and was eligible to come off the DL over a week ago but didn't. Shawn Green and Endy Chavez have both been hurt. You have to think Omar Minaya is going to think long and hard about a 27 year old slugger regardless of the money involved. It would at least steal some headlines from the Yankees for a few days. Plus, it would be great to watch Dunn try and handle the media crush up there. He might retire on the spot.

My prediction: Anaheim.

Also on ESPN.com this morning...

... in the so sadly amusing it'll make you cry department, a new player rater. To give you an idea of where the White Sox stand, Magglio Ordonez--yes, former White Sox Magglio Ordonez--tops the list with an 87. Here are the top Sox hitters (tiny, I know, but deal with it):

Jim Thome is the only one to crack double digits--and he's at 16.3, tied with... wait for it... wait for it... Shawn Green. Wow. By contrast, the Reds have 4 hitters in double digits, and three in the 30s--Griffey, Dunn, and Brandon Phillips.

The pitchers fare only slightly better, screwed in part, I'm sure, by a lack of wins--something directly attributable to the lackluster offense:

Who, you ask, is just ahead of Bobby Jenks? Matt Guerrier. Again, who, you ask? The Twins' middle reliever, of course!

Best ESPN.com pulled quote ever

I know why Uribe isn't paying anyone 25 grand. It's not because he didn't shoot the guy (although he probably didn't). It's because if he keeps hitting like he has been, he's gonna need to start saving his pennies.

Thoughts on USA Soccer and the Gold Cup

I never really understood why the World Cup is so much bigger than the Olympics or any other international competition when it was the only soccer I ever watched. It's hard to put into context where the national teams fit in with the domestic leagues and club teams (and the big money, in particular). The truth is, the FIFA system is completely different than any other sport. When it's time for the USA basketball team to play in the Olympics, we slap together our All-Stars have them train for a few weeks and send them off to the tournament. In soccer it's so much more organized that there are games and camps year-round and the team has a full-time coach. This allows national teams to develop together and gain that level of camaraderie an Olympic basketball team could never get.

The recently appointed US Mens National Team coach, Bob Bradley, took a team of international and MLS players to the CONCACAF Gold Cup starting last Thursday. If you don't know what CONCACAF stands for, just remember that it means North America. Basically what that means is that the USA and Mexico come in as the overwhelming favorites. CONCACAF is not known as a strong region, and that's an understatement. It sucks.

The USA was placed into the region with Guatemala, El Salvador and Trinidad & Tobago (am I the only one who always forgets this country isn't in Africa) and opened with Guatemala Thursday. It was a frustrating game because of the style of play of the Guatemalans. Particularly Carlos Ruiz who, from the two games I've seen him play, has shown a penchant for diving and under-cutting defensemen in the air. By the end of the game I wanted to jump through the screen and slap him around myself. Apparently Gooch Onyewu felt the same way because he got a pair of yellow cards after dealing with the little shit. The US team, who should have scored several goals, held on after going a man down and won the game 1-0.

Does it sound pretentious to complain about a 1-0 win? If so, fuck it. The team looked out of sync and almost always a step slow on defense. Onyewu played just about as bad he could have and the same old story perpetuated itself: a total lack of finishing. Thank god for Dempsey.

Saturday's game brought an almost entirely new lineup and a fresh start against what was basically the T&T JV team (there was a dust up over players getting paid for the WC, so almost all of them sat out the Gold Cup). And, it was the same old story. Justin Mapp was the best player on the pitch until Donovan came in after halftime. Mapp hit a cross that basically bounced off Brian Ching to go in. Donovan then did just about the same for Eddie Johnson (who was pleasantly un-terrible for most of this game) on a break away. The back four was a little more solid in this game and I enjoyed watching the outside backs push up and make runs into the box, but this was not a good team and they gave the US fits for most of the game.

Again, the good news was a 2-0 win against a team they should have beat. USA officially advances to the quarterfinals and can play for seeding. The real bad news of the two games so far has been the officiating. In the Guatemala game, their midfielders got tired and were absolutely crushing our players. It was a disgusting display and truly shocking that CONCACAF couldn't do any better. It's a wonder no Americans got hurt. A new crew on Saturday night brought a whole new set of bullshit. One particular referee's assistant on the sideline made no less than FOUR indefensible offsides calls against US players and one awful out-of-bounds call. The announcers mentioned that he is from Cuba. Figures, commies.

So, what have we learned from two games into our regional tournament? First, CONCACAF sucks, as predicted. Anytime Canada can lose to Guadeloupe, and Mexico drops a turd against Honduras, you know we're not talking about world powers here. We've also learned that the USA team hasn't really fixed what was ailing them.

All that said, if you're one of the denizens who complains that watching the US Soccer team blows because they never win, this is the tournament for you. They've won it before and have to be the favorite after this weekend. Up next is El Salvador on Tuesday night (FSN) and then the quarterfinals to follow and hopefully a finals match up vs Mexico. I know I'll be watching.

Also, This Just In From the "I'm Refusing to Talk About the Team on the Field" Department:

Freddy Garcia is hurt (and may see significantly more time on a couch than on a mound in the near future). Shocker there. Phillies, you are dumb. Shocker there, too. Here is who you traded the White Sox for bum-arm Garcia, who hasn't been "100 percent" (as near as I can tell, since the end of 2005) and has an ERA of 5.90 and a WHIP of 1.60 on his way to a 1-5 record this year:

Gavin Floyd (AAA): 3-3, 3.86 ERA with a 1.39 WHIP and 47 Ks in 58 1/3 innings
but, more importantly, a centerpiece of the big league club's 2009 (2008?) rotation:
Gio Gonzalez (AA): 4-3, 3.05 ERA with a 1.16 WHIP and 83 Ks in 62 innings

The future can't get here soon enough.

JD Drew missed the National League. A lot.

Coming into tonight's game against the Arizona Diamondbacks, JD Drew was perhaps the biggest--and least noticed--free agent bust of the year. He had 2 homers all year, and over the course of the last month, he was sporting a .179 average and had knocked in 6 runs. A dose of National League pitching later, and he doubled his season homer total and more than doubled his RBIs for the month.


Why do I care about JD Drew, you ask? I don't really, except that he's on my TV pretty much everyday. I write about JD Drew because I refuse to write about the fucking White Sox.

The Cubs Were Apparently the Kiss of Death

Welcome to Charlotte, David Aardsma. A big bullpen shake-up on the South Side finds Aardsma and Mike MacDougal in AAA and the delightfully unremarkable Bret Prinz and Ryan Bukvich up in the big leagues. I think the best thing that can happen here is that Aardsma and MacDougal get some things straightened out down on the farm... I'm not looking for Prinz and Bukvich to help right this sinking ship. But at the same time, bullpens are cruel, fickle mistresses and they can be great for a month and then absolutely suck... so you never know. Even Jonathan Papelbon can give up 9th inning homers to purple-lipped skirt-chasers. Remember when the Sox bullpen was their strength this year? Me too... vaguely. Oh, how I long for the halcyon days of Cliff Politte and Neal Cotts being lights out in the 7th and 8th... I really didn't appreciate how good we had it. There's always hope these guys can turn it around, though.

The real silver lining in this whole debacle? If I ever decide it's worth my time to listen to a White Sox game on the radio again, I won't have to hear Chris Singleton giggling as he says, at the prompting of Ed Farmer, "David AAAAAARRRRRRdsma enters the game." You know, it's funny because pirates say "arrrr" and Aardsma has two "a"s to start his name. It happens every single time. I wish I was kidding.

The most interesting thing about this move is how precipitously Aardsma fell. Going into the series against the Cubs a couple weeks ago, he was quite possibly the team's best reliever, better even than Jenks. Pitching against his former team must have really mindfucked Aardsma, though. Pre-Cubs, his ERA was 1.64--and it was only that high because of an uncharacteristic blown save opportunity against the Tigers way back on April 22. Post-Cubs, his ERA ballooned to 6.18 and he's given up 4 or more earned runs in 3 appearances (2 against the Cubbies and one this past weekend against the Blue Jays). Oh yeah, and he walked in the winning run against Minnesota, failing to throw even one strike to the only guy he faced (I hate you, Torii Hunter). Oops.

Man, it'd be fun to play major league baseball. But I don't know if I'd want to be throwing out of the bullpen. As Aardsma and MacDougal (he of the freshly-minted 3 year $6 million+ contract) have proven over the past couple weeks, your leash is pretty short. Forget how to throw strikes in a few appearances, and you'll be riding the bus with Brian Anderson instead of showing up the batboy in the daily Jeopardy! clubhouse competition. Whatever will he do if he can't catch his daily Trebek fix? Oh... maybe he'll remember how to pitch again.

Another Day, Another Bullpen Implosion

I haven't had a chance to watch--or even listen to--any White Sox games over the past week or so, thank God. It's much better for my health to just glance at the bottom line ticker or check a boxscore and shake my head, quickly moving on with my life.

Now that they're two games under .500 at 25-27, I thought I'd take a quick look around the standings and point out the teams who, sadly, have a better record than the Sox at this point. I'm ignoring teams like Boston and Anaheim because they're legitimately better than the South Siders. But did you know that the following AL teams are currently "better" than the 2005 World Champs?

Seattle. Sure, they were my idiotic sleeper pick to win the West, but at 27-25 I think the Mariners have surprised everyone, myself included. We're talking about a team that, for the first month of the season, thought it made sense to trot out Jeff Weaver--by any objective statistical measure, surely the worst pitcher in baseball--every fifth day. Now Weaver apparently thinks he's too good to do a minor league rehab stint. Wow. Sure, Jim Thome, Ryan Howard, and Roger Freaking Clemens aren't too good for the minors, but Jeff Weaver is. If the Mariners end up with a better record than the ChiSox, Kenny Williams should have to do some serious soul-searching. And all that "the AL Central is the toughest division in baseball" BS isn't a valid excuse.

Baltimore and Toronto. Both teams, at 27-29, are only better than the ChiSox by one one-thousandth of a percentage point, but I rationalize their inclusion with the assumption that after the ChiSox play four more games, they'll probably be no better than 27-29. I guess Toronto is roughly comparable to the White Sox (and maybe even better--hence, a bigger disappointment thus far), but Baltimore? Really? Baltimore isn't even trying. Peter Angelos just wants money, not a contender. Suck.

Oakland. They have no offensive firepower (Jack Cust was their savior for 2 weeks!) and yet they're killing the Sox in team average and runs scored, just like every team in baseball. They've lost a bunch of key players to the DL--Rich Harden, Huston Street, Mike Piazza, and Milton Bradley--compared to the White Sox's losses of the incredibly replaceable Erstad, Ozuna, and Podsednik. And they're at least at .500. Damn it.

OK, that's enough frustration for one night. Time to go watch some Red Sox-Yankees. Quite the treat that they're on ESPN tonight... I'd never see those two teams otherwise--and facing each other to boot! Wowee!

Welcome Back to the South Side of .500... and other random thoughts around baseball

Well, the White Sox dropped their fifth straight last night to sink to a game below .500. At least they did it in record time so as to not prolong the misery: Roy Halladay and Mark Buehrle collaborated to finish this one in about 1:50. Too bad Buehrle had to give up a couple solo shots tonight (one to Big Frank) as the only hits he surrendered all game. He must have been on, because he only threw 91 pitches over 8 innings in the loss. Man, I really hope the White Sox re-sign him rather than trading him by the deadline or letting him go. I'll miss him sliding around on rain delay tarps. Oh wait, management doesn't let him do that anymore. Fuckers.

What could be more emblematic of the way the Sox are playing right now than Darin Erstad going down like a sack of potatoes on a swinging strike (video in right-hand sidebar if you're interested) and Hawk apparently on the verge of tears about it in the booth? It's hard to think of anything. Erstad may be back sooner rather than later because he apparently didn't break his ankle, but it's hard for me to believe that it really matters that much either way for the Sox. I'm not going to pile on Erstad like a lot of Sox bloggers out there, but I doubt the Sox are much worse with Jerry Owens in center instead of the punter-grinder. I'm not giving up on this team just yet, but if they're more than 4 out by the All-Star break, stick a fork in them, they done.

And before I leave off the White Sox, let me tell you how much fun it is to see practically every televised game of the best team in baseball with the second-most obnoxious fan base in baseball, currently 20 games over .500 while I watch my team flounder from afar. Guhhhhhh....
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So how about these A-Rod shenanigans? No, not the strip club/wife-cheating stuff. Sure, it's fun to know that A-Rod is into the "she-male, muscular type" strippers, but that presumably has little to do with his on-field exploits. No, I'm talking about his Little League-style distraction of a Blue Jays infielder, causing a dropped pop up that apparently everyone in baseball needs to weigh in on (note to A-Rod: you're probably in the wrong when Barry Bonds and Ozzie Guillen are backing you up). What the fuck is with this guy? First, the glove-slapping incident, and now this. Every kid who played Little League--or any other youth sport, for that matter--should be familiar with this sort of behavior. It always comes from that nancy-boy prick that no one likes. Note #2 to A-Rod: You're now 31 years old, not 11. If you're going to play like a douchebag asshole, at least grow up and do it like a man (see: Bruce Bowen).

In other Yankees news, Jason Giambi could be out the rest of the season after tearing up his foot rounding the bases in a home run trot. Ha. Awesome. One word for you, Mr. Giambi and your fellow Yankees: karma. Enjoy joining that shitstorm, Rocket. You deserve it.

Last but not least, while we here at FTG regularly like to make light of the annual Kerry Wood/Mark Prior sagas over on the North Side, it's not meant in any way (at least when it comes from me) to take glee in their career-threatening injuries. Instead, it's meant to take glee in yet another source of Cubbie disappointment. If you haven't had the chance to check out the New York Times feature on Kerry Wood (and pitching injuries in general), do yourself a favor and go read it. It's impossible to not feel for Kerry Wood (and Mark Prior, wherever you are), a 29-year-old guy who is now a 9 year major league vet and just wants to make it back so his 2-year-old kid can experience his daddy playing in Wrigley. Here's hoping that Kerry makes it back one of these days and has a successful career. For a losing Cubs team.