2.04.2007

This Is It: Super Bowl Picks and Predictions

Well here we are. Less than 6 hours until gametime. Less than 6 hours until the tiny little players trot out of the giant inflatable helmets and try to look cool for the cameras. And despite running the risk of jinxing my team, I decided I'd better PONY up (ha!) and offer my pick and predictions for the big game.

First off, if the over-under on the number of Manning faces Peyton will give us tonight is 2, I'll take the over. That doesn't mean I think the Colts will lose, it just means I think Peyton might shit himself with fear and throw a pick or two.

Second, the rain's not going to affect anything. Both teams can run, both teams can throw underneath passes. It might change the gameplan, but it won't change the outcome.

Third, Rex Grossman WILL crumble under the pressure. But you know he won't give you a Manning face. Sexy Rexy's a gunslinger all the way, baby, and he can't let interceptions and fumbles keep him down. He's a baller.

Prince will be better than the Stones and Paul McCartney. Naturally. Although nothing can top Michael Jackson appearing on top of the scoreboard back in the day. THAT was fucking awesome.

Devin Hester will make the Colts special teams look ridiculous. And he may completely change the face of the game. Dungy may tell Vinatieri and Smith to just kick everything out of bounds. Even on kick-offs.

Joseph Addai (and, to a lesser extent, Dominic Rhodes) will have a huge game, prompting Edgerrin James to go double-check his bank account to calm his rage.

I could go on with these inanities, but I think it's past time to wrap up:

MVP: Reggie Wayne
Final: Colts 34, Bears 30