"David Wells Requests A Jelly-Filled": San Diego Padres 2007 Season Preview

Here's what I know about the Padres: last year they had a couple of old guys in Mike Piazza and David Wells (bad knees and big belly). Sadly, Piazza fled for the safe confines of playing DH up the road in Oakland. This is probably because is body is breaking down, but it could have something to do with the Castro District (the truth is, Tim Hardaway is a Padres fan). This year they managed to fill that void by bringing in a brand new old guy, none other than Greg Maddux. I can only imagine that Maddux will put a damper on Wells' fun in the clubhouse, thus killing the chemistry of the team. Sometimes a pitching staff needs a three day bender, you know? Of course I wouldn't be opposed to an Odd Couple style reality show featuring the two of them. "In this week's Curveballs Greg complains because David's vodka drinking is distracting him from his Learn Portugese in Your Spare Time book. Hilarity ensues." Gold Jerry, pure gold. Don't you internet assholes try to steal that idea either. It's mine.

Anyway, on to the rest of the team. Frankly, I'm confused. This is the team that won (by tiebreaker, for the record) the NL West last year? It seems to me that they lost their best hitter in Piazza. I guess this Adrian Gonzalez kid had a good year last year, but the kid hit .227 in 43 games in the show in '05 and then comes out and hits .304 over the full season last year? I'm not saying he can't reproduce that, but let's just say I'm skeptical. So, then you have Gonzo and one of the Giles brothers hitting 3-4 in the lineup. Can no one put together a decent lineup in the NL anymore? Maybe I'm just being pessimistic about everybody this season, but this lineup is doing nothing to inspire me. That said, I like the pitching staff. Maddux has become a serviceable journeyman pitcher late in his career putting up numbers good enough that nobody complains every fifth day. And, I've come this far without mentioning Jake Peavey, Clay Hensley and Chris Young who somehow all managed to come out of last season with 11 wins, and all had numbers that probably deserved better than that.

Where do I think they'll finish? Well, I guess somebody has to win the division and..... you know what? Fuck it. I'm changing my previous prediction for the Dodgers. I have LA winning the division and saying San Diego finishes second. This is my blog, deal with it.

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